Nothing can prepare you for falling in love or your first kiss. But there are a few important things to remember when it comes to dating and sex.
I fancy someone
It is exciting when you fancy someone, and even better if they fancy you back. If you like someone, you may want to ask them out on a date. Here are a few tips:
• Don’t worry if they say ‘no’. Asking and being rejected is better than not asking at all.
• If they say yes, stay cool. Take your time – think about where you’re going to take them, what to wear and what you’re going to talk about.
• Most importantly - relax, have fun and enjoy yourself!
It may be that you have a big crush on someone who is older than you, like a teacher or someone else’s parent. Although you may be bursting to tell them, it may be better to keep it to yourself. If there’s no chance of a relationship, it can be devastating – they don’t call it a crush for nothing!
I think I’m gay
One in ten people fancy people of the same or both sexes. It may even be more, and most people have a crush on someone of the same sex at some time in their lives. The fact is, sexuality is pretty complicated – and you’re not the only one trying to work it all out.
Remember, just because you’re different to some people doesn’t make you a bad person. Talk to someone you trust, or visit your local Connexions centre where our Personal Advisers are ready to help.
Having sex
If you or your friends are in a relationship, you might feel pressured to start having sex.
You might not want to discuss this with your parents, and your mates may act like they have all the answers. But chances are, they’re just as in the dark as you.
The best relationships are founded on respect. If you really fancy someone, you’ll want to make sure they’re ready to have sex.
• The law says you must be 16 years old to have sex.
• Remember that you never have to do anything you don't want to, and should never pressure someone into having sex .
• Talk to someone you trust, or call the Sexwise phoneline on 0800 28 29 30 for free advice.
• Take your time, and always use protection.
Contraception
Whether you’re having sex for the first time or are in a long term relationship, you need to use protection. For boys, this means wearing a condom, for girls this means exploring which form of contraception works for you.
There are all sorts of contraceptives available from your doctor or sexual health clinic, including:
• Condoms
• The pill
• The implant
• The injection
• The patch
• Diaphragms and caps
• Intrauterine device (IUD)
• Intrauterine system (IUS)
• Natural family planning
• Progestogen-only pill
Why bother?
In the heat of the moment, it’s hard to think about being responsible, but having sex without protection can change your life forever.
Sexually Transmitted Infections such as Chlamydia may not have any visible symptoms, but can leave you unable to have a child, or – in the case of HIV and Aids – can have long-term consequences.
Pregnancy is another consequence of unprotected sex. Even if you’re in a long term relationship, having a baby is something you need to think about seriously, and until you’re ready you should always use protection.
You can get sexual health advice from your doctor, health clinic or by visiting The Parallel – a special health centre for people aged 11-19. Call them on 01204 462444, or drop in to their town centre office:
The Parallel Health Centre
9A Churchgate Monday 3.30-6pm
Central Bolton Tuesday 2.30-6pm
BL1 1HU Wednesday 3.30-6pm
Thursday - closed
Friday 3.30-6pm
Saturday 12.30-3pm
If you’ve had sex without protection, you can also call the 24 Hour Contraception Emergency Line on 01204 390782 or visit your local pharmacy for emergency contraception – including the 72 hour pill.
You can also get RU Clear and Safe Sex packs from your local Connexions access points.
LET US HELP
If you’re in a relationship, having sex or think you might be pregnant, our Personal Advisers are here help you. You don’t need to make an appointment – just drop into your local Connexions or give us a call today.